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Saturday, October 31, 2009

own goals

[this is my rationalization for life aims. it falls under the section headings "hero fantasy" and "stating what should be the obvious".]

everyone should have a goal in life. something not entirely obtainable, so that once you get there you're not left wondering what's left. the goal doesn't need to be something measurable, but it must be something real - "being happy" is a choice one makes constantly, it's not a state one earns. likewise for "being an artist". your career does not define your life aims, it is a means by which to achieve.
"being famous" is a terrible one. famous for what? and why do you find that important?
"making the world a better place"* is a fantastic goal, but it's not substantial. in what way does fixing the world match with your personal interests and abilities?
"curing cancer" is nice, but myopic - what's the bigger picture? "solving medical problems" is one possible answer.

* desiring to make the world a worse place is just an indication of weakness and lack of perspective. this is a separate argument.

one should learn a trade or skill-set that is in line with one's interests. at the very least, something that doesn't conflict with them. people need to stop hurrying to acquire academic degrees without stopping to think about whether or not they're really in line with their needs and desires. if you're halfway through a degree and discover that it's not for you? stop. (although if you're further along than that, then maybe you should finish it - unless you're actually suffering).

when you desire to do something that you personally are unsuited for, then it's more than likely that you're approaching your goal from the wrong direction. there's nothing we super-monkeys cannot achieve, it's merely a question of how. if you don't have the talent for designing great monuments, there's no reason why you can't redefine your task to "coercing great architects". never let pride get in the way of your dreams.

wealth is not a goal - wealth is obtainable through so many different paths, and doesn't of itself provide satisfaction. when wealth is on one's mind, one has lost sight of what one would do with that wealth.
also, a person who believes in or enjoys what he's doing is more likely to become wealthy through it.

there are a number of things that a human being requires in order to maintain some semblance of sanity, and these things should not be ignored. one requires the basic necessities to function, such as food and shelter, and even more importantly the emotional stimuli and external support. there's nothing like a human being for developing insecurity.

if your friends are unsupportive, maybe you should find new friends.

the most important thing, in my opinion, is having a goal that you believe in. if you wake up one morning and decide that you've been doing the wrong thing up until now, then it's time for re-evaluation. whatever you've been doing up until that point has not been wasted, it has brought you to personal revelation.

for each of us, life is short and you never know when it's going to end. you might not achieve what you wanted to, but being on the way is a good place to be. limiting your goals to "realistic" will not help you to be who you want to be, and you don't need to get to the end in order to be fulfilling your dream.
and you really, really shouldn't sacrifice love and happiness on the way.

dream!

10 comments:

  1. You give all these examples of what's NOT a valid goal. Give us an example of what IS.

    (I ask out of curiosity; not constructive criticism of your writing form.)

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  2. it's a fair question - but can be answered only in the extreme personal.

    for myself, and i've mentioned this before - my desire is to participate in the movement to get us off the planet. it doesn't matter in which field i progress, only that my efforts are aimed at making a difference. that's open enough for complete freedom, but directed enough that as long as i'm on that track i'm doing something i truly believe in.

    bringing light to other people, especially the less fortunate, is a great goal. saving the planet is a critical one.

    in the medical field - making a positive difference is easy: be good at whatever you do.

    in the arts - getting people to think is the baseline goal, the question is what you want to get across.

    in legal professions - the law is not about justice, but a person who has the pursuit of justice as a goal (and not just winning cases) will always be doing the right thing.

    goals and professions are not the same thing - making money in whatever way enables one to achieve their goals. the ideal, which is what i was trying to get across, is to connect the two. that way is far more likely to produce success or happiness... or both :)

    everyone has a "thing". do something with it!

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  3. and i'm always please to receive constructive criticism ;)

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  4. Nope, those are still TOO out-of-reach. Saving the planet? Maybe I should just wear my underwear on top of my outfit tomorrow and call myself Superman.

    I wanted something more tangible.

    Yes, you turned into a stranger's quasi-mentor overnight.

    (Stop patting yourself on the back. I'm just looking for ideas, boy.)

    I don't want to leave Earth. But I think your goal is buh-rilliant.

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  5. i'd affix my hand to my spine surgically if it were possible ;)

    i can't give you something more specific, because only you can define your goals. i can only give examples. the bottom line? dream big, and pursue something you believe in.

    [btw - i don't think i'll be leaving the planet. i'm satisfied with being a part of laying the groundwork so that others will have the choice; even if you don't see the results of your efforts in your lifetime, you can enjoy them in your head. nowhere else matters ;)]

    i can't say what that is, but i can wish you luck. and don't be thrown by the external-underwear stereotype; this planet is filled with heroes, and at every step of the way you choose whether or not you're one of them. even the little things count.

    and you put a smile on my face, ruining my sob-story post. that's pretty impressive!

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  6. Re-your last line: Hu-rray! :)

    So how does your job help us get off the planet? (Rude invasion of privacy, anyone?)

    You wrote that striving for our goal will in turn bring financial stability and all that other survival nonsense. Nonsense. Starving artists is the name.

    Also, now that I look at your first comment (sorry, I honestly don't wish to be so annoying): Pursuing justice, bringing light onto others, v'chulei v'chulei? Those aren't as near-unattainable as your original post proposed. In which case, my hobby to ease the dullness of my job these days (spreading smiles (...You see how your last line excited me?)) means I have already accomplished my life goal... putting a smile on some random blokes face. But I'm still payed crap and have people nagging me to start with the grad school stuff already.

    Keep explaining.

    Also, explain your goggle picture.

    Those last two lines come with a polite please, of course.

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  7. *deep breath*

    right. my job helps me to get to a point where i can participate in the space race in the best way i know how. to be fair, although i love my work i hate my work environment - i really am suffering to put on a uniform every day - but i don't regret signing up in the slightest because where i'll be after my contract is up is totally worth the sacrifice. i can't say that the thought is putting a smile on my face at the moment, but it will when i'm done.

    remember: velcro was a key invention for the space age, so when i say i have a broad goal to produce assistive space tech, it's a *really* broad goal.
    my actual job is not entirely related. that doesn't matter :)

    what i said was that if you do what you enjoy, you're more likely to make money out of it.
    *scrolls back to check*
    yep, that's what i said. being an artist requires trouble, because if you've got nothing to psychologize and no real issues to give you perspective, you're in no position to comment on the rest of us.

    also, being a starving artist is cool, and loads of people want to be in that state. life is all about the fantasy.

    big point: nothing is unattainable. the biggest problem we have is limiting ourselves, by our words, by our (often incorrect) assumptions, and by our unwillingness to employ lateral thinking and find alternative solutions.

    you're done? everyone's living happily ever after already?!

    if you're making others happier in your environment, and that's certainly a goal, you're doing great - it's an unattainable goal, unless you figure out a way to make everyone on the planet permanently happy - and every moment that you're doing it will satisfy you. that's a great hobby.

    for a life-goal, though, you just need to think bigger than your office. you need to think of why you're working where you are, who you want to *be* - my personal advice is to look to the future, some day when you're telling your grandchildren your story: what do you want that story to be? was the way you made money the main story, or a mere side-issue and waypoint while you figured out how to be the hero in your tale?

    grad school? there are many reasons to study, peer-pressure isn't one of them. enjoyment, certainly. career jump, good call. it's all about what you want, and more specifically what you want for your future self!

    ...

    i'm feeling a bit preachy now... and i haven't even a clue who you are :P

    and no, i won't explain the goggle picture. MGR! (my goggles rock!)

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  8. I never said your goggles don't rock, sir. They rock indeed. Do explain the goggle picture.

    You're the good preachy type. If there ever was, that is. Sayin' all the stuff we like to hear...

    You do have a clue who I am. Rachelmiddlename; random occasional reader of your blog (occasional enough to still always be confused about who/what you are, really, but reading anyway); masked in an anonymity that allows her to feign pushiness; and looks to strangers for their perspective on life (makes me scary enough, right? ;)).

    Grad school is something I want. There are differences of opinion, however, on which KIND of career to pursue. (See, I'm a stranger that reveals much too.)

    Ya, starving artist doesn't seem great, right? *sigh*

    How much longer are you in the military? I know the suckiness of having to drudge along such unliked things.... My sympathies.

    Your ideas are wonderful. BUT, it seems that the more I look, the more it seems it was the dreamers that turned into middle-aged, stoned neverwillbemarried's. Not in every case, but much-ly indeed.

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  9. there's good reason for the title "with all the interesting bits left out" ;)

    your last statement is very interesting. maybe you're only familiar with stoner-losers (i don't have a problem with people using drugs frequently, but being a stoner is a special state of apathy that's worse than death).
    now that the private sector is beginning to overtake the corporate in a lot of fields, dreamers are more and more in the loop and are leading us in many different and positive directions. you'll find that most of them have a solid interest in what they do. it's hard to get something done well if you don't care about it.

    are these friends of yours doing what they enjoy? are they actively pursuing their dreams? dreaming is wonderful, but the secret is bullshit - it takes hard work to turn your ideas into something meaningful.

    defining success is important, i'm of the opinion that not everyone needs to raise a family. i also believe that there's someone for everyone. i don't think that needs to factor into your life goals, it's something that should happen in parallel with your aims - remember, there are many paths to getting to where you want to be, and not all of them will jump out at you right away.

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  10. (Getting permission to respond later to this one. Too tired to think now, but appreciate your response.)

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